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Comedic attempt to redefine terms http://www.envirolink.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=24176 |
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Author: | Milton Banana [ Sun Mar 17, 2013 10:52 pm ] |
Post subject: | Comedic attempt to redefine terms |
My advice for any essay is to know your terms. Let me help. Glossary of Climate terms Term or phrase = Translation See Bloggs et al 2003 = One day we might read it too Bloggs 2009= Hoped you wouldn't mention that Global = Bits of the Northern Hemisphere studied Regional = Our map Ocean acidity = Ocean alkalinity Increasing acidity = Reduced alkalinity Low pH seawater = Seawater with hydrochloric acid added High pH seawater = Seawater with no acid added High morbidity = Buggers don't like acid. W/M^2 = Watts per square meter Watt = One joule per second Watts = That damn blogger Rainbow Bridge= It is possible to piss off the French Proxy= Tree rings, ice cores or sediments Tree rings= The "lonesome pine" Yamal= A few "lonesome pines" The Hockey Stick= Two graphs for the price of one "Nature trick"= A surreptitious grafting operation Statistical technique= Smooth the hell out of it Uniform priors= Dunno, just smooth the hell out of it Mediaeval Warm Period= We got rid of that (see Statistical technique) Little Ice Age= An urban myth (see Statistical technique) Roman Warm Period= Man, that was, like, ages ago Sediment density plot= You mean it's that way up? Ice cores= Compressed ice layers with minute amounts of trapped air CO2 in ice cores= 0.03% of the minute amounts of trapped air Ice core proxy= A scientific myth 97% of scientists= 97% of 77 scientists Almost all scientists= The ones we know who agree with us All scientists= The Hockey Team |
Author: | Wayne Stollings [ Sun Mar 17, 2013 11:09 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: International essay contests featuring environmentalism |
If you follow that "scientific" advice, you will be able to follow the radical conservative's version of "science", which is whatever they make up at the time to try to make a point. To follow real science you will not need such uninformed "translations". |
Author: | Milton Banana [ Sun Mar 17, 2013 11:12 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: International essay contests featuring environmentalism |
Round two. IPCC= An exclusive club for retired railway engineers IPCC review stage= Fixing spelling mistakes & checking for 2035 IPCC report= Vast report written by 97% of scientists and WWF WWF= World Wide Fund for Nature, depending on the size of the collecting tin WWF reports= Magazine articles and telephone interviews Greenpeace= Misguided geeks with a multi-million budget Environmentalist= The clue's in the mentalist bit Row-to-the-Pole= Dragging a heavy boat over the ice to nowhere near the Pole Consensus= The bane of true science and research Peer review= Pal review or a favour repaid Science reporter= Reject from the sports desk Environmental reporter= Reject from the fashion desk Climate-change reporter= Teaboy who was gettin' just too smart Natural variability= Our models don't work Uncertainty= We don't know why our models don't work Almost certain= There's a definite possibility Very likely= We believe it anyway Could= Probably won't May= Almost certainly won't Possible= Unlikely Might= Definitely won't Slightly lower trend= No trend Flattened off= Declined Downward spiral= Slow decline Obvious trend= Well I can see it Rapid increase= Slight upward trend Continued warming= Cooling Rapid warming= Some warming Projection= Best guess (see "Climate model" below) Best estimate= Guess Best guess= We don't know Guess= We're sure we don't know |
Author: | Wayne Stollings [ Sun Mar 17, 2013 11:17 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: International essay contests featuring environmentalism |
Too bad the peanut gallery is impacting a serious thread, but ignorance is all some have to try to counter real science. |
Author: | Milton Banana [ Sun Mar 17, 2013 11:30 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: International essay contests featuring environmentalism |
Round three. We don't know= Oh God our help in ages past Good understanding= As far as we know Low understanding= Zero understanding Poor understanding= We'll shake the dice Indeterminate= Even we couldn't fudge it Correlation= The plots are almost the same shape Good correlation= If you tilt your head to the right and squint Zero correlation= The "hockey stick" (q.v.) graph More research needed= Keep the funding coming in Detailed research= The new guy is very good (Marcott) Unprecedented= Take our word for it Caveat= Must mention global warming Rebutted= Didn't mention global warming Temperature dataset= Readings from airport runways and A/C vents Urban heat island= The temperature of asphalt and concrete Summer= Global warming Winter= Natural variability Precipitation= Rain, snow, and what flies off fans Snow= See it while you can Rain= A good thing Flood= Too much of a good thing Tornadoes= Never seen 'em before this year Weather= What we're getting today Extreme weather = What we often got before Climate= Last week in Austin, Texas Living memory= The last ten years Since records began= Since we first had the internet Mean sea-level= The sea's always pretty mean Sea-level rise= The tide's coming in Extreme sea-level rise= The tide's coming in real fast Future sea-level rise= Gotta up the ante Extreme sea-level rise= We ain't gonna need street-cleaners Climate model= A form of computerized astrology |
Author: | Johhny Electriglide [ Mon Mar 18, 2013 6:56 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Comedic attempt to redefine terms |
Maybe Bananas Milty has a brain tumor. http://www.slate.com/articles/health_an ... ument.html He certainly likes to cut down and name call climate scientists and environmentalists. You are NOT being funny, but on a bad roll. Get off it, or get out, or both. Go back to the open forum, at least we are mostly allies there. This whole thread should be deleted. |
Author: | Milton Banana [ Tue Mar 19, 2013 1:23 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Immaculate thread. |
This is a first. A thread not of my making. I think its great. Now the gods of environment have directed me to keep in comic. Everyone knows if it really funny an element of truth must by employed. Which is what I have been doing here. Okay. No problem. This really opens up future comedy bits too. But, I still need to help out AF2. Continuing on with glossary and terms= translations. Regional climate model= A less accurate form of climate model Multiple models= One of them might be right Multiple model runs= We picked the results we wanted Model averages= A total nonsense Model verification= We'll get around to it someday Solar radiation= What the hell's the sun got to do with it? Sunspots Damn= I've gone blind in one eye Sunspot cycle= The latest model with GPS and everything No - the Sunspot cycle= Oh - wiggles up an' down, doesn't do much ENSO= We don't do ocean cycles Carbon cycle= The "missing sink" is there somewhere Arctic warming= It might be a bit less cold there Antarctic warming= A bit less cold at the tip of the peninsula Ice shelf collapse= Mind you, we never looked before.... Glacier= A mega-version of what's in your gin-an'-tonic Melting glaciers= The very few studied; i.e. all of them |
Author: | Johhny Electriglide [ Tue Mar 19, 2013 3:04 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Comedic attempt to redefine terms |
Author: | Milton Banana [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:52 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Comedic attempt to redefine terms |
Author: | Johhny Electriglide [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:47 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Comedic attempt to redefine terms |
The Mod got rid of your junk in the thread on writing a college essay. "certainly likes to cut down and name call climate scientists and environmentalists." That SHOULD get you banned, but Wayne seems to like wasting bandwidth on useless arguments with denialists. We need a Steady State World Economy-----years ago!!! The thing people as a whole don't get is how much emissions reductions must be done and how fast to avoid the worst possible outcome, an extinction of nearly 90% of life on Earth, including humans. HGHG emissions MUST reduce, by what ever means it takes, 90% in 3 to 11 years max, or that worst case is what faces future generations. 70% is from burning fossil fuels(40% COAL, 30% OIL) and 27% from slash and burn agriculture, and 3% from too many farm animals. Other human pollution and depletion is bad, but not on this scale of consequences. It is already really, in all practical logic, to stop the human population die-off starting even as early as the 2030s and for sure by the late 2040s---after crossing tipping points of unstoppable natural positive feedback loops if emissions are not reduced enough in time. The pitiful survivors will face increasingly more miserable life as AETM approaches. That is a higher morality that people must attain, where sustainability becomes a Holy Word and future generations mean more than the extra people and over use of resources now. A morality that decreasing emissions enough in time is the most important thing anyone, any group, any country, or any corporation can do. Education to reduce these emissions and still survive, get rid of selfish greed, and get rid of other beliefs and behaviors that hold humanity back from achieving the goal of continued life for ours and most other species. |
Author: | Fosgate [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:34 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: International essay contests featuring environmentalism |
Author: | Wayne Stollings [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:45 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: International essay contests featuring environmentalism |
Author: | Fosgate [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:53 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: International essay contests featuring environmentalism |
Author: | Milton Banana [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 5:36 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: International essay contests featuring environmentalism |
Author: | Wayne Stollings [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 6:05 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: International essay contests featuring environmentalism |
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