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lets not be too serious. http://www.envirolink.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=16144 |
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Author: | mothy [ Fri Jan 27, 2012 6:31 pm ] |
Post subject: | lets not be too serious. |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- . Seen these before but they are worth another laugh xx DO YOU KNOW ANY OF THESE PEOPLE//// THE LAST ONE IS AN ABSOLUTE CLASSIC!! Actual call centre conversations !!!!! Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'. Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'. Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.. Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Samsung Electronics Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?' Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'. Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?' Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- RAC Motoring Services Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?' Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Directory Enquiries Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'. Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?' Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'. Customer: 'OK'. Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'. Customer: 'No'. Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?' Customer: 'No'. Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'. Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?' Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------- There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'. Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?' Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.' Operator: 'What sort of trouble??' Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' Operator: 'Went away?' Caller: 'They disappeared.' Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?' Caller: 'Nothing.' Operator: 'Nothing??' Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.' Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??' Caller: 'How do I tell?' Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??' Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?' Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.' Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??' Caller: 'What's a monitor?' Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??' Caller: 'I don't know.' Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.. Can you see that??' Caller: 'Yes, I think so.' Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller: 'Yes, it is.' Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??' Caller: 'No.' Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' Caller: 'Okay, here it is.' Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.' Caller: 'I can't reach.' Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??' Caller: 'No.' Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??' Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.' Operator: 'Dark??' Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.' Caller: 'I can't.' Operator: 'No? Why not??' Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.' Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??' Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.' Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad??' Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.' Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??' Operator: 'Tell them you're too f........ stupid to own a computer!!!!!' |
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