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The new Barbie - Priceless!
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Author:  Grace [ Fri Apr 28, 2006 8:52 am ]
Post subject:  The new Barbie - Priceless!

*Pet Rescue Barbie*

This Christmas season give the latest, hottest new Barbie -- K-9 Rescue Barbie or Cat Rescue Barbie.

She comes with her own Ford Aero star van, and various size dog crates inside. She has a cell phone that's barely working due to over use and underpayment. Barbie herself is decked out in jeans, grungy athletic shoes, and a t-shirt that says "Dogs are Better Than Any Other Living Thing on Earth". She comes with a road atlas of every town and state in all of North America, and a compass on the dashboard of the van.
Optional is the special Rescue Dog Barbie laptop computer with the names and addresses of every other dog rescue person on earth, in case she gets somewhere and a contact fails to show up.
Running buddy, "Lucky", the three-legged, blind Shih Tzu doll is available for an additional $49.95. For $89.95, you can complete the set with "Pissed off husband at home, Ken," and the various foster dogs at $20 each.

Prices for other accessories are:

Fake snow falling on Barbie's van: $12.95
Flat tire for Barbie's van: (see Barbie's Road Service")
Barbie's First Aid Kit: (human): $11.75, (canine): $69.50
Barbie's Speeding Ticket: $95 (Mississippi--$195)
Barbie's coat-that-she-had-to-buy-in-Minnesota: $85
Barbie's Vet Bill for Lucky in Vaughn, New Mexico: $63.45
Barbie's contact, Rhonda, who she had to give gas money to in Mesa Verde, Texas: $20.
Barbie's bill to get her contact, Luis, out of jail in Bakersfield, California: $500.
Barbie's bill to get Luis's dogs out of the pound in Bakersfield, California: $265.
Barbie's hotel/kennel bill in Laughlin, Nevada, while she waits for her contact:$532.
Barbie's overalls that she has to buy while in Minden, Nebraska, hunting down lost coonhounds: $49.95
Pizza for Barbie's suspicious looking hitch-hiker with sick puppy: $15
Vet bill for hitch-hikers sick puppy in Des Moines, Iowa: $143.29
Barbie's doggie wheelchair for "Klause" the rescue dachshund in Leavenworth, Kansas: $143.
Barbie's van detailing/fumigation from hauling parvo/kennel cough puppies: $187.
Barbie's resume to get new job when she gets home from run: $29.95

And her sister doll - Cat Rescue Barbie, who comes with the same equipment, (substitute "cat" for "dog"), also:

Folding ladder in vehicle: $129.95
Have-a-heart trap: $29.95
Cans of tuna for baiting trap: $11.95
Long handled fishing net: $39.95
Case of Simple Solution: $259.95
Black light (to detect cat urine): $29.95
Tee shirt that says "The More I Know About Men, The More I Love My Cat" $19.95
Running buddy "Jeep" - 3-legged tailless cat named after vehicle that claimed her missing appendages: $89.95
Vet bill for "Jeep" $397.95
Friend Edith, 87-year-old feral colony feeder, who calls begging favors when her arthritis acts up and she can't get out. $59.95
Food for Edith's colony cats (after all, Edith is on Social Security) $139.95
Friend Margie, do-gooder with pristine home and one spoiled cat, whose idea of being a rescuer is to pick up strays and take them to Barbie for rehab, vetting, fostering, and placement. $89.95
Vet bills for Margie's rescues $892.95
Mother Sadie, who calls weekly to ask Barbie when she is getting rid of those smelly cats and giving her some grandchildren $ 89.95(telephone extra)
Shrink who talks Barbie out of killing above-mentioned persons each week $500
Vet who makes house calls, refuses to perform declaw surgeries and doesn't blink at unannounced visits or odd-hour consultations: *priceless*






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author:  Origam [ Fri Apr 28, 2006 9:11 am ]
Post subject: 

*SNARK* Too funny. :lol:

Author:  Donnie Mac Leod [ Fri Apr 28, 2006 9:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The new Barbie - Priceless!

Grace wrote:
*Pet Rescue Barbie*

This Christmas season give the latest, hottest new Barbie -- K-9 Rescue Barbie or Cat Rescue Barbie.

She comes with her own Ford Aero star van, and various size dog crates inside. She has a cell phone that's barely working due to over use and underpayment. Barbie herself is decked out in jeans, grungy athletic shoes, and a t-shirt that says "Dogs are Better Than Any Other Living Thing on Earth". She comes with a road atlas of every town and state in all of North America, and a compass on the dashboard of the van.
Optional is the special Rescue Dog Barbie laptop computer with the names and addresses of every other dog rescue person on earth, in case she gets somewhere and a contact fails to show up.
Running buddy, "Lucky", the three-legged, blind Shih Tzu doll is available for an additional $49.95. For $89.95, you can complete the set with "Pissed off husband at home, Ken," and the various foster dogs at $20 each.

Prices for other accessories are:

Fake snow falling on Barbie's van: $12.95
Flat tire for Barbie's van: (see Barbie's Road Service")
Barbie's First Aid Kit: (human): $11.75, (canine): $69.50
Barbie's Speeding Ticket: $95 (Mississippi--$195)
Barbie's coat-that-she-had-to-buy-in-Minnesota: $85
Barbie's Vet Bill for Lucky in Vaughn, New Mexico: $63.45
Barbie's contact, Rhonda, who she had to give gas money to in Mesa Verde, Texas: $20.
Barbie's bill to get her contact, Luis, out of jail in Bakersfield, California: $500.
Barbie's bill to get Luis's dogs out of the pound in Bakersfield, California: $265.
Barbie's hotel/kennel bill in Laughlin, Nevada, while she waits for her contact:$532.
Barbie's overalls that she has to buy while in Minden, Nebraska, hunting down lost coonhounds: $49.95
Pizza for Barbie's suspicious looking hitch-hiker with sick puppy: $15
Vet bill for hitch-hikers sick puppy in Des Moines, Iowa: $143.29
Barbie's doggie wheelchair for "Klause" the rescue dachshund in Leavenworth, Kansas: $143.
Barbie's van detailing/fumigation from hauling parvo/kennel cough puppies: $187.
Barbie's resume to get new job when she gets home from run: $29.95

And her sister doll - Cat Rescue Barbie, who comes with the same equipment, (substitute "cat" for "dog"), also:

Folding ladder in vehicle: $129.95
Have-a-heart trap: $29.95
Cans of tuna for baiting trap: $11.95
Long handled fishing net: $39.95
Case of Simple Solution: $259.95
Black light (to detect cat urine): $29.95
Tee shirt that says "The More I Know About Men, The More I Love My Cat" $19.95
Running buddy "Jeep" - 3-legged tailless cat named after vehicle that claimed her missing appendages: $89.95
Vet bill for "Jeep" $397.95
Friend Edith, 87-year-old feral colony feeder, who calls begging favors when her arthritis acts up and she can't get out. $59.95
Food for Edith's colony cats (after all, Edith is on Social Security) $139.95
Friend Margie, do-gooder with pristine home and one spoiled cat, whose idea of being a rescuer is to pick up strays and take them to Barbie for rehab, vetting, fostering, and placement. $89.95
Vet bills for Margie's rescues $892.95
Mother Sadie, who calls weekly to ask Barbie when she is getting rid of those smelly cats and giving her some grandchildren $ 89.95(telephone extra)
Shrink who talks Barbie out of killing above-mentioned persons each week $500
Vet who makes house calls, refuses to perform declaw surgeries and doesn't blink at unannounced visits or odd-hour consultations: *priceless*






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I hear they have a Horsey stick shaped Gracie model with mop styled fluffy hair to ,but at least she is cheap. :wink: :D

Author:  Grace [ Fri Apr 28, 2006 10:47 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
I hear they have a Horsey stick shaped Gracie model with mop styled fluffy hair to ,but at least she is cheap.




Image


My Pancho didn't have foofy mop hair!

Author:  Donnie Mac Leod [ Fri Apr 28, 2006 10:55 am ]
Post subject: 

Gotta admit ,I love this game you old mop head you. :lol: Bet that didn't cost as much as the Barbie stuff and you found more fun playing the cow girl Grace.

Author:  Archer [ Fri Apr 28, 2006 11:25 am ]
Post subject: 

What about the pepper spray, live traps, and the .22 for the ones that aren't going to make it?

Author:  Grace [ Fri Apr 28, 2006 11:50 am ]
Post subject: 

Donnie Mac Leod wrote:
Gotta admit ,I love this game you old mop head you. :lol: Bet that didn't cost as much as the Barbie stuff and you found more fun playing the cow girl Grace.


Right you are. I loved horses as a kid. Used to throw a bed pillow over the bannister rail upstairs and pretend I was riding through the Great Plains. I took Pancho running through all the fields and had a lot of fun exploring this big excavation pit behind our house too. I really whipped him senseless to giddy up. Really smarted my leg. :lol:

Author:  Donnie Mac Leod [ Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:54 pm ]
Post subject: 

Grace wrote:
Donnie Mac Leod wrote:
Gotta admit ,I love this game you old mop head you. :lol: Bet that didn't cost as much as the Barbie stuff and you found more fun playing the cow girl Grace.


Right you are. I loved horses as a kid. Used to throw a bed pillow over the bannister rail upstairs and pretend I was riding through the Great Plains. I took Pancho running through all the fields and had a lot of fun exploring this big excavation pit behind our house too. I really whipped him senseless to giddy up. Really smarted my leg. :lol:




I even had a cowboy hat, holster and guns along with a Red Ryder replica rifle Grace. I was never as good a shot as LC though because even though I was pretend shooting I had to admit I couldn't plug a nickle worth a damn back then.. Then again ,those Stepfordian wives are right into prefect ion of long lost memories aren't they.. :lol:

Author:  wijim [ Fri Apr 28, 2006 1:25 pm ]
Post subject: 

Grace wrote:
Donnie Mac Leod wrote:
Gotta admit ,I love this game you old mop head you. :lol: Bet that didn't cost as much as the Barbie stuff and you found more fun playing the cow girl Grace.


Right you are. I loved horses as a kid. Used to throw a bed pillow over the bannister rail upstairs and pretend I was riding through the Great Plains. I took Pancho running through all the fields and had a lot of fun exploring this big excavation pit behind our house too. I really whipped him senseless to giddy up. Really smarted my leg. :lol:



lmao.....um..i'll just give you a thought i stole from george carlin....

"mom....dad....um...meet the banister"

Author:  Donnie Mac Leod [ Fri Apr 28, 2006 1:30 pm ]
Post subject: 

wijim wrote:
Grace wrote:
Donnie Mac Leod wrote:
Gotta admit ,I love this game you old mop head you. :lol: Bet that didn't cost as much as the Barbie stuff and you found more fun playing the cow girl Grace.


Right you are. I loved horses as a kid. Used to throw a bed pillow over the bannister rail upstairs and pretend I was riding through the Great Plains. I took Pancho running through all the fields and had a lot of fun exploring this big excavation pit behind our house too. I really whipped him senseless to giddy up. Really smarted my leg. :lol:



lmao.....um..i'll just give you a thought i stole from george carlin....

"mom....dad....um...meet the banister"




Stop that Wiijim. I can see Grace blushing from here. :shock:

Author:  josh knauer [ Fri Apr 28, 2006 7:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

wijim wrote:
lmao.....um..i'll just give you a thought i stole from george carlin....

"mom....dad....um...meet the banister"

I was thinking it but didn't say it! The mental image was perfect. :twisted:

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