Posted by xxxxxxxx on 7/3/2006, 10:29 am
OMG, what an experience I just had. Farmers scare me. Really. They do.
I went to the farm store in search of this stuff that Doc told me to get for Dixie, my nanny that is producing milk like crazy! This stuff is supposed to dry her out. I had called the farm store earlier and talked with this really nice lady, she was very helpful, friendly and sweet. She gave me some tips on what to do, and informed me that they had this product.
When I went there, this guy, instead answered my questions. OMG. What a hick!!!!! He pointed out that I needed something other than what I had picked up......same name brand, different stuff. One is called Today, one is called Tomorrow. I had tomorrow, needed today. Got all that?
Anyhow, he says, "you'll have to milk her first".....I said, "what? are you serious? I have never "milked" anything in my life" The look on my face must have been sheer terror. The whole time I am thinking "sure, milk the goat from hell!!!! Ya right!" That's when he got me the Today instead of Tomorrow!!!!!!!!
He then says, "I've had nannys do that....I just take them to the stock yard. I can't put up with that. Off they go" OK......well, I'm not doing that, these are my pets.
So then I ask him if he has any secret weapon to get her to hold still while I am shooting this ooze up into her udders so I don't get killed!!!!!! He says, "pinch inside her ear, there is a nerve in there that will hurt really bad when you do it" Ok, got it, inflict bodily harm. Got it. What else, "well, you can always, and this is what I do, pinch her nose and cut off her air supply. That is make her hold still"
Well, I would imagine so!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Rick, has she stopped moving yet? Good, she's dead, now we can administer the ooze!!!!!!!!!!!"
Then, he suggested breeding her. Which, for me, is a VERY LAST RESORT. He said most times that straightens them out. Ok. Check....got it, breed her.
I replied that I really don't want baby goats, what will I do with them? I can't have 2 more goats, since they usually have twins. He said, "band them, if males. then you won' thave a problem with babies. Or, sell them. You know, you can get like $200 a piece for them at the auction. Those muslims LOVE goat meat and will pay big money for them"
OMG, what an experience THAT was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I am now going out to catch Dixie, inflict bodily harm, cut off her air supply, and threaten to sell her to the muslims!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT!!!!!!!