Fun Things To Do in the Office ~ Author Unknown
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi."
Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."
Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.
Insist that your e-mail address be "firstname.lastname@example.org"
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Compose all your e-mail in the form of a Haiku.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver. Include a piece of your children's artwork as a cover page for all reports that you write. (If you don't have children, draw stick figures yourself.)
Schedule meetings for 4:14 pm.
Agree to organize the company Christmas party. Hold it at McDonald's Playland. Charge everyone $15 each.
When in conversation, no matter where you are in the office, mutter, "I think my phone is ringing," and leave.
Bring in dishes that you tried to cook but didn't turn out quite right as special treats for your co-workers.
Send out flyers to your entire department/division announcing a required staff development program. When everyone arrives, show them slides from your vacation.
Tell everyone that you are quitting. At your going away party, announce that you were just joking. Make sure to take their presents.
Take a picture of your boss and have it framed. Display it in a prominent location on your desk.
Whenever a fellow staff member sneezes, quickly yell "SHUT UP!" If they sneeze a second time, follow up with "I SAID SHUT UP!". A third time, leave the room crying while saying "NO ONE EVER LISTENS TO ME!".
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
I think I may have to do the copier thing after lunch today.
The Christmas party sounds like a good idea too.
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much. - Mother Theresa