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We Raise All Our Beef Humanely On Open Pasture And Then We Hang Them Upside Down And Slash Their Throats [The Onion - satire]



Our independently owned family farm is committed to one guiding principle: making sure that you, the customer, receive the best-tasting, highest quality beef from cows that are healthy, active, and eventually suspended fully conscious inside a facility thick with hot, blood-choked air and the frantic bellows of dangling, profoundly fearful animals.
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Website: http://www.theonion.com/articles/we-raise-all-our-beef-humanely-on-open-pasture-and,30983/?ref=auto
   


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That's our pledge to you.

As owner and president of Nature's Acres and a lifelong rancher myself, let me assure you that our animals are treated with exceptional care using only traditional methods from the very second the calf is born on our farm, to the moment a cascade of blood showers from its gaping, half-severed neck, to the day our award-winning beef reaches the grocer's case in the organic section.


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