Climate therapist offers guidance for managing tensions with loved ones who ignore environmental impact

Many climate-conscious individuals struggle with a painful dilemma: how to maintain relationships with family and friends who continue environmentally harmful behaviors despite knowing better. A leading climate therapist offers practical advice for navigating these emotionally charged situations without burning out.

Licensed therapist Leslie Davenport acknowledges that the anger and frustration stemming from this values conflict is completely understandable. When loved ones continue flying frequently or engaging in other high-carbon activities while claiming to care about climate change, it creates what she calls a “lopsided moral load” that can exhaust the nervous system and strain relationships.

Rather than trying to be the “climate conscience” in every interaction, Davenport recommends “emotional detachment without emotional withdrawal.” This means setting boundaries about where your responsibility ends while continuing to love imperfect people. She suggests approaching conversations with curiosity first—perhaps these individuals are taking climate action in ways you don’t see, or they haven’t yet figured out what meaningful action looks like for them.

When direct communication feels necessary, Davenport advises “selective honesty”—expressing how specific behaviors affect you personally, then allowing silence to do the work. The key is recognizing that you cannot carry both the planet and your loved ones on your back. Instead, invest your energy in like-minded communities where your climate commitment is shared and your nervous system can rest, making it easier to engage constructively elsewhere.