Seriously, you're an ass and talking about something you are totally clueless about. Why are you an ass? Because you don't know pain.
Yeah, you don’t know what pain is. Really, what pain is. Not just what physical but also emotional pain is. I do. Currently, I’m recovering from a double cervical fusion due to two herniated discs and a bone spur that was putting pressure on a root nerve. I’ve been in pain for years, seven to be exact, 24 hours a day some times and hardley anything on another day. Took a good blow to the top of the head, late one evening, that caused that to occur.
I’ve been through physical therapy, exercises, traction….and I’ve strived to maintain my health, do my therapy and go beyond and keep in very good shape. Finally, the pain got so bad that I went the final step, surgery to correct the condition and fuse part of my spine together with titanium plate and screws. Made sure I was in good health before hand. I could already to 75 push ups in a row and 50 situps in a row, for my sets.
For these past seven years I’ve been working with doctors and nurses, whom I have to give them a rating of my pain level, with 0 being the lowest and 10 being the highest. To get to this point where surgery was the last option is only a 6, or 7 at the most. But it could be constant, day in, day out. So, had the surgery right before New Years in this year of 2012. A complete success for the surgeon, and me. He corrected the stenosis, pressure on the spinal cord, but also whittled that bone spur down. He says that he KNOWS that cause has been corrected. But I still have pain. Currently, its at the 1 to 5 levels, but only with the help of narcotics, legally prescribed to moi, of course. He thinks since this happened so long ago, it may take some time to heal the nerves…..like 3,4, or more months. But, if I am not better, pain wise, in the next 2 months we may need to do another MRI, or maybe a cat scan.
Keep in mind that I am only talking about physical pain, and not emotional pain. So I’ve been through this but you know what? I also know what pain level 10 feels like! When I was about 37, I contracted meningioencphalitis , viral in nature. That gave me a level pain 10 and beyond. My brain was swelling, my headaches, well, these were special headaches that pained me so much I started vomiting. At one point I literally felt like I would rather be dead than to endure the pain any longer. Of course if someone were to put a pistol in my hand at that point? No, not quite there yet.
I think that I know physical pain. Emotional pain? I believe that I have managed to keep those levels way downs to just the ones, or maybe a two on occasion. Emotional pain?
Well, my sister decided to take her life about 9 years ago. She was in her late fifties, divorced from an alcoholic and verbally abusive husband. Had a son, in elementary school at the time they divorced, and she had to raise him without any support from this husband who could not keep a steady job.
She started getting pains. In her legs, arms, neck, you name it. Went through tests, and tests, and tests. Their final prognosis was fibromyalgia. I had never heard about it, has not any other people in the family. Some of us got on the net and saw that a lot of so called experts saw fibromyalgia as more of a mental issue instead of a physical malady. I started thinking that nah, my sister has mental issues that she needs to deal with, get a grip, get some help from a professional in emotional health.
Well now, that didn’t help, she was taking a shitload of different medications and mood enhancers, and she was still in pain. I’m still thinking It’s all in her head. Things go on and on, we get together for cookouts, go to the 4th of July fireworks with the kids, who are older now, her’s being 16.
One day at work I get a call from my Wife. She says my nephew, her son, came home and found my Sister, in the garage, hung from the rafters. Thing is, night before she tried to commit herself to St. Vincens Hospital that has a wing she was familiar with. They had her come home the night before because the evaluation could find no cause to keep her. I'm at her house, with my wife, trying to console her son. What do I say, other than we love you and are here for you. The house phone rings, while the coroner and the family was still present. I answered it and it was St. Vincents doing a follow up call to see how my sister was doing. I informned them that their services were no longer needed as she had taken her life the night before. We end up having her son in our home for the next two years when he then graduated and went to college.So, yeah, I think I know pain pretty well. I also know that my sister knew pain, probably better than I did, both emotionally as well as physically.
I have no idea what sort of pain her son is in. But, from where he is now, did finish college, has held bs jobs, is currently unemployed and is a jesus freak that has no clear ideas of what he wants for his future. We never could convince him to seek help to relieve his grief as we were unprepared, and not capable of providing him what he needed. I believe his emotional pain is pretty high up on the scale t this day.
I remember what a pain level 10 feels like. I have no idea what a pain level 10, as measured emotionally, and possibly along with physical pain could possibly feel like. But, I do know this. I would dare not call anybody a coward for ending their pain because, I do not know what their pain felt like, at that last fleeting moment of their life.
But, you do, and feel an obligation to automatically brand someone a coward who take their life?
I am sorry for you current pain and for your loss.
Maybe you should have read my post a little more closely as you seemed to have missed an important part .... In the case of terminal illness where there is great pain and/or disability, I could see possible justiifcation for such an action, but for those who just have a messed up life I cannot.
As you stated there was a lot of pain invloved, which could not be identifed to a particular source. It may be assumed to have been mental, but as in the case of your pain the organic nerve responses may actually be indicating pain where medicine cannot identify a physical cause. There are some cases which are mental, but there are cases where people manifest many other symptoms through belief. There is also the placebo effect where the cure follows the belief there is a cure.
I did not touch on the mental illnesses where the perceprion of reality may be skewed sufficiently to cause suicide, but that is not suidcie in my opinon, but an accidental death. The rationality of the person is shaken and the result does not reflect their normal actions, but that is a long and involved explantation, which did not seem to be needed at the time.
I take it that since you believe I am an ass partly due to your sister's actions, you disagree with that action as being a negative in some manner? Would you call it a brave thing to do or just a choice? Would your opinion change with the removal of the undiagnosed pain? I am sympathetic to those in pain, although my tolerance for pain seems to be much higher than most in comparison. (I had a doctor tell me I did not have a broken bone because I could not have remianed so calm as he manipulated the appendage until the x-ray showed a nice clean break of one bone) That is why I added the caveat concerning illness and pain. I did not know your sister so I have no idea of the pain she she had or how bad it was in relation to her personal pain scale. That means I cannot judge her actions in any way as a result. You, on the other hand know the situation much better than I, including the aftermath effects. I imagine you have an opinion of the bravery or lack thereof of her fight and final decision based on more information than she had at the time, but that is something you need to deal with personally.
Again, I am sorry for your current pain and you previous loss, but it does not change the very general outlook I have on the subject.